Micheline’s Lepage’s life ground to a “standstill” after her son died of cancer in 2014 at the age of 32.
Wanting to support her two grieving grandchildren, she began seeing a grief counsellor, who later recommended she attend peer support groups at the Ottawa chapter of Bereaved Families of Ontario.
Soon, Lepage was not just supporting her grandchildren. She was also facilitating peer support groups for other grieving parents.
“It took him passing away for me to find my purpose in life,” she said.
Today, Lepage is board chair of the organization, which provides free peer grief support for families in Ottawa.
Much of Lepage’s work includes telling stories about her son, BJ Levesque — and encouraging others to talk about their deceased loved ones.
“It’s important to make the person talk about their loss,” she said. “That’s what they need to do, because the more they can talk about it, the more comfortable they are.”
A new report suggests Canadians need to have a national conversation about grief.
“Canadians generally don’t understand grief well enough to help themselves … or to help those around them who are suffering from grief,” said Paul Adams, executive board member of the Canadian Grief Alliance, the group that released the report.
‘Behind the curve’
Currently, most grieving Canadians struggle to get support, the alliance’s report says.
Almost half of the nearly 4,000 Canadians the alliance surveyed said they did not feel supported while grieving. Nearly all — 90 per cent — said they wanted to be asked about their grief.
This puts Canada “behind the curve” in supporting grieving people, said Adams, who noted countries like Australia, Ireland and the U.K. have structured programs to support grieving people.
Since its launch in 2020, the Canadian Grief Alliance has advocated for Canada to take a public health approach to grief.
Such an approach would direct resources to those with the most need, says Adams. This might include Canadians in rural locations, men, racial minorities and professionals who regularly see death and trauma, such as first responders.
Grief, the alliance’s report says, needs to be acknowledged “as a social issue requiring collective and sustained efforts from all levels of government, organizations, and communities.” The report includes an action plan for creating a co-ordinated, national response to strengthening grief support in Canada.
If grief is unsupported, it can negatively impact people’s health, relationships and productivity.
“One of the parts [about grief] that is really misunderstood is that grief can really impact health,” said Dr. Naheed Dosani, a palliative care physician at St. Michael’s Hospital in Toronto.
It can negatively impact immune systems, be a risk factor for cardiovascular problems and, in some cases, worsen chronic conditions.
“Grief is an adaptive and normal response that is typically time-limited, and is a response to loss,” said Dosani, who is also a family and community medicine professor at the University of Toronto. But grief that persists over a long period of time can cause depression, anxiety or increased substance use.
Grieving people may withdraw from society if not supported.
“Grief goes underground,” said Maxxine Rattner, a sociology professor at York University and board member of the Canadian Grief Alliance.
“People feel isolated in their grief.”
‘Disenfranchised’
Almost everyone experiences grief in their lifetimes, often many times. Yet, in Canada, there is little research about its impacts, the alliance’s report says.
“[Grief] happens to everyone,” said Rattner. “That’s part of why it’s been disenfranchised in our system of care.”
Because grief is a normal part of life, there are often no health-care programs that specifically provide grief support in Canada.
Palliative and hospice care — which both focus on making dying people comfortable — are supposed to include supports for grieving people, says Rattner, who was a social worker in a hospice for a decade.
But bereavement care is often not “an integrated part” of palliative care, says Rattner. Palliative care is end-of-life care generally delivered within hospitals.
“It kind of surprises me how little training there is in grief competency in the medical health-care world,” said Dosani.
“There are very few funded services for physicians to be able to provide bereavement care. Most care actually stops right when a person dies,” he said.
‘Not saving the whales’
Community organizations currently provide most of the grief support in Canada. These organizations often struggle to find sustainable funding.
Compared to other charitable causes, supporting grieving people is not a “feel good story,” said Lepage, board chair of the Ottawa chapter of the Bereaved Families of Ontario.
“We are not saving the whales. We’re not putting food in the food bank or feeding kids in school. It’s something that’s hidden.”
Demand for the organization’s services is high.
“Many providers are overwhelmed by skyrocketing demand, burgeoning waitlists, and more cases of traumatic loss, cumulative losses, and prolonged grief than ever before,” the Canadian Grief Alliance’s report says.
The Ottawa chapter of Bereaved Families of Ontario served 3,000 people in 2024, up from about 1,700 in 2023. Last year, it offered services 300 days of the year.
Still, it is not enough.
The chapter’s art therapy group has a waitlist. So do many of its peer support groups — including one for people grieving losses by suicide.
Lepage wishes the organization could offer one-on-one support, but it would need more funding and volunteers to do so.
Bereaved Families of Ontario has no long-term, sustainable funding, she says. Its programs are free, so it relies on grants and community donations, to pay its two staff.
Recently, the organization received a small grant for people 55 and older who are grieving the loss of a spouse. Such grants are few and far between — and come with cumbersome applications. The organization is currently looking for corporate sponsors.
Adams would like to see a national organization to co-ordinate grief support in Canada.
“We don’t really have a very good grip at the moment — even from a data point of view — of who’s getting services and where,” he said.
The public health system has a role to play, he says. But it is not the only way to deliver supports for grieving people.
In her own life, helping others grieve has helped Lepage through her own grief.
When she leads a support group, she tells stories about BJ to commemorate his life and also help others commemorate the people they have lost.
“[Grief] will never go away,” she said. “It’ll change … and you will learn to enjoy life again.
“But you have to do the work, and the work is talking about it, getting the support you need.”
Correction, July 4, 2025 9:06 am: This article has been corrected to say the Canadian Grief Alliance formed in 2020. A previous version incorrectly said it was formed in 2022. We apologize for the error.
I’ve worked with First Responders who were struggling with grief. But what amazes me is that most First Responders have the idea of “tough it out and carry on”. As you said in the article, that not dealing with grief can lead to physical heath problem, often leading to an early death. What should be part of the protocol after dealing with a death should be mandatory counselling.
Imagine being best friends with someone their, and your life, from 5 years old. Then, without any warning, the one friend dies. It’s grief heavy with 53 years of memories. It doesn’t take long for those memories, that seem to be playing on a loop in your head to not be enough. This has enabled me to understand the meaning of “grief “.
“Grief is Love that no longer has a place to go.”
(I hope this helps someone understand. Feel free to publish or share it. My email address is included to leave me a message if you wish.)