About half of adult Canadians are neither married nor in common-law relationships.
Yet little research exists on how single adults think about being single, and what contributes to positive perceptions of singleness, says Elina Moren0, a PhD psychology candidate at the University of Toronto.
Moreno is the lead author of a recent study about how participating in what Moreno calls “self-expanding” activities can contribute to individuals’ positive views of singleness.
Moreno spoke to Canadian Affairs reporter Meagan Gillmore about her findings and what they mean for single and non-single adults alike.
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
MG: Why did you want to study the psychology of singleness right now?
EM: Increasingly, singlehood is becoming more common because people are delaying their initiation of romantic relationships, whether it be to pursue career or academic goals, or whatever the case may be.
But research has largely focused on romantic relationships, which is consistent with the social narrative that romantic relationships are the key to living a fulfilling and successful life.
We wanted to centre the lives of single people and understand how people can better enjoy their time being single and seize that as an important opportunity rather than just being a waiting period in between romantic relationships.
MG: Your research focused on self-expanding experiences. What are self-expanding experiences?
EM: Self-expanding experiences can be any activity that’s exciting or novel or stimulates you to think about the world differently. These activities don’t need to be expensive, time-consuming or especially grand, like going on vacation.
They can be simple things that people can integrate into their regular, daily life, like starting a new hobby, trying a new restaurant, or joining a sports team.
MG: What was the overall finding of your research?
EM: We found that single people who believe that singlehood offers them this opportunity to self-expand are more likely to actually engage in these self-expanding activities.
They were also more likely to be satisfied with their singlehood, less fearful of being single, more satisfied with their life in general. They were more likely to feel autonomous, competent and connected to their friends and family.
MG: For the purpose of your research, what is a positive outcome for singleness?
EM: We classify a positive outcome for single people as either changing the way that they feel about their singlehood status itself, or how they feel about themselves in their life more generally.
MG: What would you like people who are single to do with the information you learned?
EM: Our main hope is that single people can recognize that singlehood doesn’t have to be an idle period where you’re waiting for a relationship.
Instead, it can be an opportunity for you to engage in personal growth, learn more about yourself, learn more about the world around you.
MG: Why is this an important message for singles to hear?
EM: There’s this existing narrative of romantic relationships being the key to a fulfilling life.
We think it’s important for single people to understand that no matter what people are telling you or expecting of you, singlehood is an important opportunity. You can seize your time being single, no matter how long or how short that time is.
MG: What can the friends and relatives of single people take from this?
EM: Social support is so beneficial for our well-being; it’s such a key factor. Accompanying single people on self-enhancing activities can help influence how single people interpret the world.
MG: How do you balance encouraging a positive view of singleness without painting a picture that says committed relationships are bad?
EM: We aren’t trying to say that romantic relationships or wanting a relationship is a bad thing. We’re just trying to say that being single doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
We want to focus on the time spent being single, and how people can seize that opportunity— whether their end goal is joining a relationship or continuing to be single.
