Wedding photos of Henry Li and Edgar Ng show the couple holding hands, surrounded by beaming friends — the freeze-frame of joy a contrast to the two men’s struggle in Hong Kong for LGBTQ rights.
Ng had launched legal bids in 2019 demanding equal treatment for same-sex couples on public housing and inheritance — a fight continued by his husband after Ng’s suicide a year later.
The LGBTQ community has seen incremental legal victories in Hong Kong since the mid-2000s, winning in the Chinese city’s courts on targeted issues ranging from visas to taxes.
But same-sex marriage remains out of reach.
When Li visited a Hong Kong morgue, they refused to let him identify Ng’s body. “They were telling me that my husband was not my husband and that I was nobody,” says Li, 37. “I couldn’t react. I froze.”
In a decision in September, Hong Kong’s top court ordered the government to create an “alternative framework” within two years that recognizes same-sex couples’ legal rights.
But the judges also unanimously declared marriage “confined to opposite-sex couples.”
Li said he was “a bit disappointed,” but hopes Hong Kong comes up with a framework that covers “growing up, growing old, illness and death.”
Showing photos in his home, Li said after their 2017 London wedding, Ng had insisted they hold a Hong Kong ceremony — even convincing a church to let them walk down the aisle.
“He was a brave person… He rightly said our marriage was open and aboveboard,” Li said.
Needs of the minority
Semi-autonomous Hong Kong has seen increasing support for same-sex marriage, a stark contrast to mainland China where stigma is widespread and the LGBTQ community has alleged a growing crackdown.
In the case decided in September, prominent activist Jimmy Sham had argued the city’s ban on same-sex marriage violated his right to equality.
“So many people, including Jimmy Sham, have been pushing forward [LGBTQ rights] to where we are today,” said Annie Chau, co-founder of “Butterfly,” a social network for the lesbian community in Hong Kong.
Hong Kongers are now more open about their sexual orientation “in their workplaces and families,” she said. Butterfly’s forum topics used to revolve around unpleasant experiences, but recent users talk about marriage, starting families and retirement, she said.
“I think [September’s court decision] is a big improvement,” Chau said.
But the community is not immune to the changing political climate. Rights advocacy has partly gone underground since Beijing imposed a national security law on Hong Kong in 2020, following huge and sometimes violent pro-democracy protests.
“It’s tougher for the public to see the needs of the minority,” she said, noting the relative lack of media coverage of Sham’s case. Also a pro-democracy activist, Sham has been behind bars since 2021 pending trial for alleged national security crimes. He declined to comment.
Double lives
Hong Kong officials have declined to comment on next steps after September’s ruling, while the Department of Justice has asked the court for flexibility on the two-year timeline, a legal source said.
Ben, 53 — who has been with his partner since the 1990s — said he had little confidence Hong Kong’s pro-Beijing legislature would come up with a “reasonable” framework.
“Hong Kong still has a long road ahead,” said Ben, using a pseudonym.
For some, progress has come too late.
“There’s no point in coming out now, I’ll keep on pretending. After all, I’ll die soon,” said Pat, a 76-year-old retiree who has hidden his two-decade-long relationship from his family.
Thirty years ago, he might have longed for marriage, he said.
“But now I’ve walked such a long road, I’ve adjusted to my life.”
